27 Funny Retirement Gifts For A Woman

She’s retiring, not dying, so people should be smiling and celebrating!

Spark some laughter in the room by giving her one or more funny retirement gifts.

But you have no clue where to start looking for funny retirement gifts for a woman?

Don’t worry, we got you covered! We scoured the internet and created this list of the 27 most hilarious retirement gifts that will crack up any woman.

From funny gadgets to those senior citizens’ jokes, you’ll find them all here!

Ready to make her laugh?

Funny Retirement Gifts For A Woman

In this article you will find:

27. You’re Only Old Once

Youre Only Old Once

We start off with this top 27 funny retirement gifts for a woman with a book.

Because … old people like to read, right?

All jokes aside, this book is an absolute bestseller and will for sure put a smile on her face during those first weeks of retirement.

26. False Teeth Soap

False Teeth Soap

Thanks to this remarkably accurate replica of dentures, you can tease her about getting old while giving her a useful gift at the same time.

You see, these false teeth are in fact a soap set!

A funny retirement gift that will crack up any woman.

25. Wine Tumbler

Funny Retirement Wine Tumbler

Now that she’s finally retired she can sit back and enjoy a glass of wine whenever she wants.

Thanks to this hysterical wine tumbler she can do so in style.

Available in three cute colors, this is a funny novelty cup that will be cherished, and vividly used, for years to come.

24. Retirement Survival Kit

Retirement Survival Kit

This list of funny retirement gifts for a woman wouldn’t be complete without a gag survival kit.

This hilarious set includes a magnifier glass (for those aging eyes), a decision-making spinner, and a pill-of-day box.

In short, the rib-tickling essentials for women of advancing ages.

23. Funny Socks

Funny Retirement Socks

After all those years of hard work, she can finally sit back and put her feet up.

And what better way to show the world she is enjoying retirement than with these funny retirement socks.

This gift includes two pairs of socks, presented in a nice gift box with a fitting claim.

22. Tiara & Ribbon

Retirement Tiara Ribbon

Let’s make it official who the lady of the hour is!

With this beautiful tiara and ribbon, the world will know that this woman is retired and ready to celebrate this huge milestone.

Although perhaps a cliche, any woman will secretly love this funny retirement gift.

21. Bumper Sticker

Im Retired Bumper Sticker

Hey, she’s retired now, she ain’t in hurry for nothing…

So give a heads up to all the other people out there on the road with this amusing bumper sticker.

One of the more classic but nonetheless funny retirement gifts for a woman!

20. Senior Citizen Award

Personalized Senior Citizen Award

There is no harm in making a bit of fun of the fact that she’ll be joining the senior citizens.

You can personalize this award with a name and date, and it is made official with an embossed gold seal.

This unique and funny retirement gift deserves to be displayed in a prominent place in her home.

19. Funny Doormat

Funny Retirement Doormat

Keep your entrance nice and clean while informing the world that you are enjoying your retirement.

You cannot go wrong with this classic funny retirement gift.

Also, check out this personalized Welcome to our Retirement Home doormat.

18. Who Cares Clock

Who Care Im Retired Clock

The best part about being retired is that finally, you can choose how you spend your time.

You don’t have to be anywhere if you don’t want to.

This funny retirement clock symbolizes this great insight which makes it a hilarious retirement present.

17. Funny Retirement Mug

Funny Retirement Mug

I know y’all have been waiting for this next gift, the funny mug!

Yep, we can’t have a list of funny retirement gag gifts for women without adding a funny mug.

She’ll get to wake up with a big smile every day as she sips her coffee or tea from this hilarious bad boy.

16. Retirement Party Supplies

Retirement Party Supplies

This is supposed to be a party, right? Then let’s make it look like one!

With this elegant-looking assortment of party supplies, you’ll be able to give this woman’s retirement party the celebration it deserves.

Just watch her smile as she walks in on this surprise!

15. Personalized Retirement Banner

Retirement Banner

Balloons are not enough you say? Do you want to go bolder?

Say no more, we got you covered! What about this huge personalized banner?!

This funny retirement gift will definitely surprise the woman in your life and is suitable for both outdoor and indoor usage.

14. I’m Not Retired Blanket

Funny Retirement Throw Blanket

Next on our list of funny retirement gifts for a woman, we have the perfect present for a proud grandmother.

This awesome hooded blanket cloak reminds the world that although she might be retired from her professional career, this woman is taking her grandmother’s duties very seriously.

A gift that also the grandkids will approve of with a big smile!

13. Personalized Fortune Cookie

Personalized Fortune Cookie

At unlucky No.13, we have the perfect gift to turn this retiring woman’s luck around.

Check out this original fortune cookie which you can personalize with a funny or touching message.

This unique fortune cookie comes packaged inside an authentic Chinese take-out box.

12. Scratch Travel Journal

Scratch Travel Map

With this fun retirement gift, she will be able to keep track of her travels with the set of handsome scratch-off-where-you’ve-been maps of every continent.

But there is more. Besides a map, this journal also offers the functionality of a travel planner, a checklist, and a diary.

A great retirement gift for a woman who is thinking of seeing the world.

11. Hearing Enhancer

Retirement Funny Hearing Aid

Just to make sure she will be able to hear also those nice retirement speeches, you might want to consider giving her this hearing aid.

This funny retirement gift for women is printed with a fitting text.

A hilarious present that will bring laughter to the room.

10. Blissy Silk Pillow Cover

Blissy Silk Pillow Cover

Silk products, especially those from reputable brands like Blissy, offer a luxurious and comfortable experience. They are soft to the touch and provide a smooth surface, which can be beneficial for the skin and hair.

Retirement is a time for relaxation and self-care. Gifting a silk product can be a way of telling the retiree to take some time for themselves and enjoy the finer things in life.

9. Vitamin C-nility

Vitamin C Nility

Next on our list of funny retirement gifts for a woman we have an item that might need a few seconds to be processed.

You see, these are not just regular vitamin C tablets, but a specially designed counterpart for C-nility… get it?

Just watch her face as she finally gets the pun of this hilarious retirement gift.

8. Scratch Off Bucket List

Retirement Bucket List

For the women that are not yet sure what they’re going to do with all that time after retirement, we present the perfect gift.

This poster holds 100 fun bucket list activities that she can finally give a try.

To make it extra fun, it’s a scratch-off poster so she can decide for herself when it’s time to discover the next bucket list item.

7. Nap Pillow

Nap Pillow

This hilarious retirement gift will remind her on a daily basis about her new, one-and-only, to-do list.

She can use this rib-tickling pillow to decorate her living room, study, or car.

What a cozy way to finally get the rest you deserve!

6. Custom Bobblehead

Customized Bobblehead

Looking for truly unique, one-of-a-kind, retirement gifts that will crack her up?

Look no further! This website allows you to create a hilarious personalized bobblehead.

You can choose from a vast assortment of themes (superheroes, professions, funny positions, etc) and they will skillfully add a customized head based on photographs.

5. Spy Glass Walking Cane

Funny Walking Cane

Starting our top 5 of funny retirement gifts for women, we have a sophisticated gift to mock 2 stereotypes simultaneously.

Yes, retirement means you are getting older and a cane can be a fun way to laugh about this.

But this genius contraption also holds… a secret spyglass… with which she can carefully keep an eye on the neighborhood as a true senior citizen. Hilarious!

4. Retired Car Sign

Retired Car Sign

Wherever she might go, people on the road will know she is retired and loving it!

A funny retirement gift that will brighten up any car.

Or perhaps you prefer a hilarious sign that jokes about her senior driving skills?

3. Engraved Wine Gift Box

Engraved Wine Gift

Who says a retirement gift can’t be classy and funny at the same time?

This Napa Valley Cabernet is offered in an exclusive lacquered Burlwood keepsake box.

However, you can add any hilarious engraving on the top. So time to get creative!

2. Colorful Wine Glass

Retirement Wine Glass

If she’s going to receive wine as a retirement gift (which is pretty much a certainty, no?) she will need the perfect glass to drink it from.

Check out this fun and colorful masterpiece by Lolita!

Looking at the reviews, it is an absolute hit as a retirement gift for women!

1. Retirement Wishes

Retirement Wishes

At the very top of our list of funny retirement gifts for a woman, we find a simple but perhaps most impactful item.

Instead of just giving her 1 gag gift, ask all her friends and family to fill out one of these retirement wishes in a funny way.

Package all the wishes in a nice container or gift box, and you’re fully set to give her a thoughtful and very fun start to her retirement.

How do I choose the right funny retirement gifts for women?

Although most women will pretty much love any funny gift they receive at their retirement party, here are some DOs and DON’Ts:

  • DO: Think about her specific character traits or funny habits, and buy her an item that calls this out and laughs with it. Is she known for not being the world’s best driver? Then give her this bumper sticker that finally shifts the blame to her being retired.
  • DON’T: Take the joke too far by making it offensive.
  • DON’T: If this woman is your colleague, then definitely think twice about funny retirement gifts to avoid getting calls from HR.
  • DO: Add a little gag retirement gift to a more serious present to get the best of both worlds.
  • DO: Look for items that she can display as little keepsakes. She’ll always think fondly of her great retirement party. Examples are this senior citizen awardnap pillow, or hilarious personalized bobblehead.

Is it a good idea to give a woman a funny retirement gift?

Absolutely! She’s retiring, not dying, so there should be a lot of celebration and laughter during this milestone event in her life.

Also, realize that she’s probably also a bit stressed about the entire thing, and perhaps a bit scared about what comes next. So putting a smile on her face will only be appreciated.

However, do take a second to think about your relationship and the environment in which you are giving her a funny retirement gift:

  • Colleague: Yes, funny retirement gifts are a great option. Just make sure you don’t take it to a level of humor not fit for a working environment.
  • Mother: If there is anyone she expects will come with gag gifts it’s her kids. That being said, if you would team up with your siblings to potentially give a ‘real’ gift as well, that would be the unbeatable retirement gift combo!
  • Husband: Here we would advise more caution. You are supposed to be her support as she goes through this huge transition in her life. Probably she is expecting a more sentimental gift from your part. However, there is no harm in adding a little gag retirement gift on top as well!

What are other retirement gift ideas for women?

Not sure funny retirement gifts are the right way to go for the woman in your life?

Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! Check out this ultimate guide to buying retirement gifts for women. It covers all the different kinds of gifts you can buy her, as well as many tips on how to give her the perfect retirement party.

Alternatively, a great gift for any retiring woman is to help her with the red tape. Have a look at this helpful resource center from the Women’s Institute For A Secure Retirement.

Looking For More Funny Retirement Gifts For A Woman?

Hope you find this list of funny retirement gifts for a woman useful, and you are now set to surprise a special lady with a hilarious retirement present! If you have comments or questions, feel free to post them below. If you would like to subscribe to our gift reminder mailing list you can click the button or if you just like to see more gift ideas for her just click that button.

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Last Updated on September 6, 2023 by Emily Scott