5 Steps To Getting A Romantic Valentine’s Day Right [2020]

Romantic Valentines Day Ideas For Her

That Guarantee Sex: 5 Steps

The gift giving craziness surrounding Christmas has only just passed, but men all over are not allowed to take a breather just yet. This because Valentines Day is just a few short weeks away…

Although it should be a great event where we celebrate finding the love of our lives, most of us can’t help but sometimes feeling like this day of lovers is a burden as we have no inspiration when it comes to romantic Valentines day ideas.

Valentines day is probably one of the most commercialized holidays of the year. During the weeks before, we get bombarded with the obligation to make this day the most romantic experience our loved ones have ever seen. 

And make no mistake, she will indeed have high expectations. If you think you can impress her by just giving a thoughtful gift somewhere during the day and that you will be set for some A-grade lovemaking, you are dead wrong.

In fact, if you want to sweep her off her feet and get life-changing sex at the end of the day, you will need to step things up and make valentines day a romantic & memorable experience.

5 Easy Steps to give a girl the perfect Valentine's Day: A love tree in a field

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By: Peter, Updated 02/28/2020

If you really don’t have time and just want a great gift, you should definitely check out this top 25 list of must-have Valentine’s gifts for 2020.

However, if you are looking for romantic valentines day ideas that will give her an unforgettable experience and that guarantee sex at the end, follow the 5 easy steps below.



Surprise Her by Taking the Lead

Tell her a couple weeks before the 14th of February that you will be arranging everything and that more details will follow closer to date.

You taking the lead during Valentines day is a great idea as it actually serves two purposes.

Firstly, women love to be surprised and treated like a goddess. You taking care of the general planning of the day itself will already mean a lot to her. She will feel that you care enough that you are willing to do the extra effort to make this day special for her.

No matter whether you go big and have a full agenda of romantic activities, or whether you keep it small and centered around a few key things, the gesture itself will score points big time.

Secondly, aligning upfront that you will guide the day will avoid any overlap in planning. For example, it would be a shame if you arranged to cook her an exquisite dinner, yet at the same time, she made a reservation at your favorite restaurant.

Your wife or girlfriend will also want to do something for you on Valentine’s day. Yet men, in general, seem to care less about the experience compared to women. So it is perfectly fine that she focusses on finding the right gift while you plan the rest.

Don’t forget to build the tension!

That’s right. Whatever you do, don’t tell her any details about the day or any planned activities just yet. You will want to spread it out by telling her more details will follow closer to date. She will be dying of curiosity and love every second of it. The excitement of the surprise ahead will again be an important part of the overall experience.

However, you will need to give her some guidance a few days before. Why this is so important you will read in step 4.

Man walking through a set of flowers whilst taking a women by her hand


There is Less Time Than You Think, Prepare in Advance

Although most men are able to come up with romantic Valentines day ideas for their wife or partner, they often forget that there are many elements surrounding the day that actually require thorough planning.

As a result, many are often faced with issues in the eleventh hour that have the potential to ruin the entire day. If you don’t want to face last-minute issues, you will need to plan Valentines day ideas in detail ahead.

Here are some key things you will want to think about:

1. Research or insights needed

Don’t underestimate that time needed to do proper research. You might have a romantic Valentines day idea such as an activity she would love to do or even the perfect Valentine’s gift, but that doesn’t mean you will be able to find a supplier immediately.

Start your search well in advance to avoid the last minute realization that your plan is not going to work.

2. Freeing up the day or evening

In case you have smaller children, you will need to foresee a solution. If you think you can have a romantic dinner in the kitchen with the baby in the next room you are just being plainly naïf.

Truly enable this day to be about just the two of you and find a babysit or ask parents (in law) to take care of the kids.

PRO TIP : If you want to go the extra mile you can even collude with her boss to free up her day. But only tell her the day before or even on the morning of the 14th for extra effect.

3. Plan activities on Valentines day

Although Valentines day will fall on a Thursday in 2019, it doesn’t mean you cannot plan any activity. For those who are unable to take a day off, even smaller gestures such as a romantic walk from or to the restaurant can already do a lot.

However, in case you want to do an activity that requires a reservation, make sure you do this sooner rather than later. It’s Valentines day for everyone, so you’d better book fast before someone else has the same great idea as you.

PRO TIP : in case your budget allows it, go for a romantic getaway. Even if it is just a quick escape from the city for one night in some small cottage, it will make her the day even memorable and romantic.

4. Choose the best Dinner option

Building on the previous point, if you were thinking of taking her to her favorite restaurant you should probably make the reservation months in advance, and it should be the first call you make on your activity list.

However, there is no dire need to take her to a restaurant. You can as well surprise her by cooking her an exquisite homemade meal.  Especially if you don’t get around doing the cooking too often, she will appreciate the gesture.

Just don’t forget that also this requires thorough preparation. Do you have all the equipment? Do you need to ask your mom for help or advice?

PRO TIP : if you are having trouble deciding between a restaurant of cooking yourself ask yourself the following question: do you already go out to dinner often? If the answer is no, she will really love the opportunity to go out and might even be disappointed if it doesn’t happen. Do you already eat out regularly, then a home cooked meal will score great points.

5. Make sure you know how to get around

On paper, you might have a great plan including several romantic Valentines day ideas & activities, but don’t forget to plan how you will travel from one to another. Will there be sufficient time, even if there are unforeseen traffic jams or other delays? Does the venue offer free parking space or are you better of taking public transportation?

6. Prepare for the perfect ending

In the end, Valentines day is about romance, so creating a romantic atmosphere in the bedroom will be highly appreciated.

She will absolutely love some nice (scented) candles to create the perfect lighting around the room, while some romantic music could set the mood. Top this with some massage oil to treat her to a relaxing massage, and you are fully set for the perfect ending.

PRO TIP : surprise her even more by hiring a maid to come and clean your home on Valentines day morning. She will not only love to return to a spic and span house, but also the idea of not having to clean herself will be a more than welcome gift.

Man thinking whilst working on his laptop


Find the Right Romantic Gift for Her

This is probably the most stressful part for most men. They realize that the expectations are high so the pressure to find the perfect gift can lead to stress.

However, let me start by giving some great news: women will love the fact that you have planned an experience around day, and not just limit yourself to a Valentines gift. So with part of the expectations already met, there is less pressure and focus on the gift itself.

That being said, you, of course, can’t show up empty-handed…

Finding the perfect romantic Valentines gift can be daunting, and honestly, it does depend a lot on personal factors. However, there are 5 categories of gifts that have proven to be successful specifically for Valentines day :

  • Personalized & Sentimental Gifts
  • Gifts to Pamper Herself
  • Flowers
  • Other Classic V-Day Gifts
  • The gift of romantic words

1. Personalized & Sentimental Gifts

For our article “How to find great gifts for women“, we did extensive research among 2000 women and found that 76% would love to receive a gift that is either personalized or that has sentimental value.

  • The reason for this is that by taking the time the find a gift that has a specific value for her you show her you take an honest interest and involvement in her life. She will cherish such gifts.

The easier of the two is personalization. The research showed that adding the first letter of her name or her zodiac sign already has a significantly higher value than the same item without any customization. In case you don’t have any specific object in mind, we collected the most original personalized gifts of 2020.

Silver Baby elephant personalized ring holder: A great personalized Valentines Day Gift Idea

Sentimental gifts actually go one step further and require more effort as you will need to do a bit more digging to identify a specific memory that holds a special place in her heart. As an example, a personalized gift would be an engraved necklace, while a sentimental version would be a necklace with a locket holding a picture of you two during that trip she loved.

BONUS : Your efforts will be rewarded as our data showed she is 3 times more likely to share the fact that she received a sentimental gift with her friends and colleagues, increasing your image as a thoughtful person.

However, you can also combine both… Our personal favorite personalized AND sentimental Valentines day gift idea is definitely this illustrated love book. The website allows you to use thousands of illustrations to create your own book. So why don’t you make an illustrated collection of your most romantic and meaningful moments together? The moment you first met, your first kiss, that trip to Rome, etc.

Valentine love book: a perfect example of a sentimental valentines day gift for her

If this one is a bit too much for you, you can find more inspiration in our top 10 of sentimental gift ideas.

2. Gifts to Pamper Herself

Women very much enjoy products to pamper themselves, as well as comfort and sleep-related gifts. This is a rather safe bet and so a good direction if your relationship is still new and brittle.

You can go for a relaxing spa treatment, but also pampering products such as scrubs, body lotions, and serums are highly appreciated. In case you decide to go for the latter, look for gift baskets rather than single products. She will love the fact that she can try out different treatments and scents, while you smartly increase your chances she likes at least one of them.

A great example is this ultimate essential oils collection by Aromatherapy Associates. It holds 10 different oils that she can use in the bath and shower. Or… that can be used for a sensual massage at the end of your Valentines date if you’re catching my drift.

Or have a look at these romantic Valentines day pampering gift ideas.

Aromatherapy Associates Essential oils collection: a perfect example of a valentines day gift to pamper herself

3. Flowers

Every girl loves flowers, and there is no better occasion than Valentines day to treat your lovely little lady to a beautiful bouquet. Whether it is at the start of the day, the beginning of your date night, or at the end in the bedroom, flowers are a no miss!

Although you probably cannot go wrong with a lavish bouquet of red roses for Valentines day, our recommendation would be to go for a brilliant bouquet with Stargazer Lilies. With this arrangement, you will stand out as all other men will buy long-stemmed roses.

As stargazer lilies or roses could be pricey, especially on Valenines day, it could also be a good idea to order her favorite flowers or another beautiful flower with deeper meaning. If you would like to learn more about choosing the perfect flowers for a girl, you can read our 10 best tips in this article.

PRO TIP : If you decide to have your flowers delivered at her office, make sure you deliver them with a VASE. There is nothing more awkward for a girl to look for one when her colleagues are watching. 

A Bouquet of Stargazer Lilies & Pink Roses: The best flowers to give on Valentines Day

A Bouquet with Stargazer Lilies

A Bouquet with Red Roses: A stylish flower classic for Valentines day

A Bouquet with Red Roses

4. Other Classic V-Day Gifts

Besides flowers, data shows that classic Valentines day gift ideas such as jewelry, perfume, chocolates or even a stuffed teddy bear are well appreciated.

PRO TIP : make a classic gift even more special by adding a personalized engraving or message.

Our favorite classic Valentines gift idea for this season is probably this luxury hamper by Godiva. This deluxe collection takes the gift chocolate to a whole other level and will delight any woman. Let’s also not forget, chocolate is an aphrodisiac…

Godiva Chocolate Hamper: The Perfect Classic Valentines Gift for Her For more inspiration, have a look at our top 10 classic gifts for a lady.

5. The gift of Romantic Words

Write something down. Don’t get me wrong, not everyone is meant to be a poet or singer, but already just writing some genuine words down on a card will do a lot. Women love to hear their man open up and voice how they feel, and by writing it down they will have a nice keepsake.

PRO TIP : Personalize each message by using the name or pet name of your wife or girlfriend.

If really have no inspiration, just write down on a nice card one of the following romantic valentines messages.

Dear Sweetheart, I can’t imagine my life without your love and I definitely can’t live without you. I love you immensely.

Dear Sweetheart, there is magic every time you look at me and I am in heaven every time you touch me.

Dear Sweetheart, I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you.

In case you cannot decide between these 5 directions, or you are unsure which one is right for you, perhaps have a look at this post where we ranked our top 25 list of best Valentines gifts for her.


Give Her a Heads Up to Avoid Frustration

As I mentioned earlier, you will want to build up the tension the weeks and days before Valentine’s day. She will love the excitement and value the fact that you did all the effort to make it such a fun experience.

Although the entire point is to not tell her anything and leave her guessing, you will need to give her the right guidance the day before so she can properly prepare.


Although she loves surprises, she does want to be prepared whenever she leaves the house. In fact, you could ruin the entire day if you would, for example, take her to a very fancy restaurant, the opera or ballet, and she is underdressed. The same goes for taking her on a trip without her having the right items to bring along.

This doesn’t mean you have to spoil the entire surprise, just make sure you guide her sufficiently. For example, by telling her the location will be fancy and she is expected to wear evening wear.

Won’t it be too much of an anti-climax if I just tell her the day before what to expect?

ABSOLUTELY NOT, she will appreciate it. And for those who are willing to go the extra mile, you can even turn this into a great little extra.

How about having flowers delivered to her office the day before (or the morning of the 14th itself if she is working), and this with a little card hinting what will be expected of her. I promise you, she will LOVE it, and her colleagues will be jealous!

Finally, also don’t forget that the day before Valentine’s is important for you as well. You will want to double check the reservations, print or pick up the tickets, and make sure also you have the right outfit picked out and ready to go. Too late in the game now to make any mistakes!

Frustrated women shouting with her hands next to her head


Execute Valentines Day to Perfection

Alright, you made it this far! Most of the preparations were made, you got your partner so excited she cannot take it anymore, and today is the big day where it all comes together.

I just want to close with some final pointers to execute Valentines day to perfection:

  • Make sure all the final preparations are done. In case you are wise and decided to follow my advice in step 3 to decorate the bedroom, do so the moment she leaves the house.
  • Don’t stress too much. Secondly, right before you are ready to pick her up and start your well planned day or evening, take a deep breath. You spent a lot of time planning it all, yet a big mistake would be to stay too caught with the agenda instead of enjoying the great moments that are about to happen. If you are distracted, she will notice as well, trust me.
  • Forget about the kids…for a second. For the parents among you, a difficult one: don’t talk about the kids. I know this is very difficult as children are at the heart of any family. However, this night is about you two, and you want to make it count. Take the time to listen about how things are going at work, how her hobby is progressing, or even better, reminisce together about great memories.
  • Choose the right moment to exchange gifts. The best moment to exchange gifts are either before the first course (with a nice cocktail, a glass of wine or champagne), or after dessert. This so no food is getting cold (or is melting) and you are not in a rush.
  • Explain to her why you chose that specific gift. By doing so, you will show her how much you know her, and that you took the time and effort to find the right gift for her.
  • Be grateful for your gift. Next, it goes without saying that also you need to show basic manners when it comes to your gift. Don’t be insensitive or rude when receiving a present. She probably spent as much time as you trying to find something that would make you happy. Even if she didn’t get it 100% right, appreciate the gesture.
  • Enjoy yourself. Finally, don’t forget to have fun and enjoy. You did a lot of effort, and yes, maybe things won’t all go perfectly as planned, but that’s ok. What matters is that you both have a memorable day and evening that is just about you two.

So there you have it. If you follow these 5 steps to find the best romantic Valentines day ideas for her, I guarantee you she will be completely surprised and swept off her feet, and you will be fully set to have some of the best sex you ever had!

A couple cuddling in bed on valentines day

Please do share your story of how your Valentines day surprise went in the comments. I am very curious to hear how it all went down. On top, any great insights will be added for next year’s update of this post!


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